I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize