Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
