If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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