She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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