You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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