Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Success! We fucked roommates!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
