He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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