Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
nutella sex= disaster
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Im part way to drunk.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
