I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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