He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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