I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
