His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My life is pants optional.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
