At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
