so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
