a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize