Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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