4 words: hood of his car
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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