saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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