I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
