I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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