They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
