I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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