Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
