They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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