Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
