I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
