Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
