i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goatâ€
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