I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
