Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
