1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You left your phone here
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