I'm really into asian looking animals
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
