Apparently you make a good broom.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
