I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
