Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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