I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
