Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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