She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
