i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
