I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
