You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize