i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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