Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
