did you get engaged???
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
