he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
