oh god the rape fog is back!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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