scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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