he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize