I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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