Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
