I must be too annoying 4 u.
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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