that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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