I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
