i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
oh god was she eating orange peels again
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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