guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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