Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
