she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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