i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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