Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
