No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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