How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
