In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
