Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
